My Fnords, Shadies and Gentlefiends,
It is indeed a great honour to be asked to give the annual lecture of the Omega Omega Omega society of Blogwarts Academy of Illiberal Arts. As you all know, Blogwarts is my alma mater, and old Perpwalk still holds a treasured place in my memories, not least when he fell from grace and formed such an excellent main course at a previous conventicle. My remit this evening is to provide some sustenance of a more intellectual kind – look, there’s no fat on me, just skin and bones – in order to inspire our newly graduated tempters and activists, as well as provide some humorous fare for the incumbent alumni to ruminate over in the days and weeks to come.
I will, if I may, begin with a quotation from a certain book put out by the enemy, purporting to be the words of his ‘son’ and interloper, who has been working behind our lines for a good few years now. I ask your pardon, but I am sure you will soon see that the occasion is justified, as it provides significant encouragment to your labours.
Matthew 23:13 But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in. 14 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows’ houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.15 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.