All Is Well™ with the Church of “Can’t We All Just Get Along?”

From St. Paul, MN comes this story of a pastor who grossly misjudged the tenor of his flock:

The reverend [sic] of a St. Paul church says he needs to raise $200,000 to pay off a church loan after most of his followers left…

The Rev. Oliver White runs Grace Community United Church of Christ in St. Paul. The 69-year-old said he needs to raise the money by June 30.

“We lost our income when we lost a number of people from our congregation.” White said.

My goodness gracious! Whatever could the Rev. White have said to cause his flock to desert him, and his future to be so black? We read on:

White said two-thirds of his followers left after he said he supported same-sex marriage, and said he was against the marriage amendment that will be up for a vote in November.

Oh, so that’s it. The Rev. White tried to whitewash the Holy Scriptures to his own liking, but his parishioners did not care for his attempt, and left him to be the black sheep (and pay the mortgage, to boot).

Has the good pastor perhaps learned his lesson?

The Rev. White? Not one whit:

“I think people are scared — scared of change, and what has been in the closet is finally coming out, and too many people are not willing to accept it,” White said.

And who changed, Pastor White? Was it Scripture, or was it possibly you?

Also, what really scared them, Pastor White? Was it the “Scripture” you suddenly discovered hidden in the dark all along, until precisely you decided to bring it into the light? Or could it be that you were the one who scared your flock with the sudden change in your religion, Pastor White? (Going from white to black will do that, you know.)

And why would you have thought you mightn’t scare them so, Pastor White?

He argued they have to accept it, adding that it’s a civil rights issue.

Ah—a “civil rights” issue, you say?

Would that be “civil rights”, as in your right to a speedy and fair trial on Judgment Day, Pastor White? Or as in your right to confess Christ crucified as your savior, even while you try to lead His flock astray—those seeking souls whom He has entrusted to your care?

Does anyone have “civil rights” before God?

But perhaps we misjudge you, Pastor White. Perhaps you were talking only of civil marriage, and not the marriage sacrament of Christ’s church, which symbolizes Our Savior’s relationship with His one, true Church.

“It’s time for our society to do as Rodney King did and say, ‘Can’t we all get along?’ That should be the 11th commandment as far as I’m concerned,” he said…


The “Eleventh Commandment,” Pastor White? That “we all just get along”? “Live and let live?” (It sounds as though you’re the one who wants to mix religion into civil life, Pastor White.)

Doesn’t that “Commandment” tend to undermine the first ten?

Why can’t my neighbor just live with it if I turn out my wife and invite his to move in with me? I just want to “get along” with her. What’s wrong with that?

“We should not try to legislate morality, in terms of who should get married and who can’t get married.”

But—but—Pastor White? Didn’t you just say that we should legislate your “Eleventh Commandment” into law, for everyone to follow?

How is it that, in the Gospel according to Oliver, society has to obey Rodney King’s commandments, but God’s are optional?

How did you expect that message to sit with your parishioners, Pastor White?

White said they are praying for a miracle donation, but says even if they lose the church, those remaining members will find another place to worship.

And just who is the source of miracles, Father White? It wouldn’t be that same God who joined the first man and the first woman together in holy matrimony, would it? Or are you now worshipping a different deity, whom you expect to save you and your remnant from having to find another place of worship?

Never mind answering that, Father White. I know what you would say, anyway, because all those pastors who are misleading their flocks say the same thing—even if they lose two-thirds of their sheep: